Updated: Mar 17, 2021
1. Practice feeling interested
You must practice feeling interested. You can do this by accepting and being aware of feeling attracted or interested in someone and letting it affect how you act.
To practice this, let yourself feel interested in someone you don’t know and probably won’t see again.
2. Adopt an open mindset
Accept the possibility that someone you know is interested in you. Try imagining they are really interested in you. Accept that interest as if it were completely true. Be open to it. How does that knowledge change you? What does it feel like to believe it?
Once you can convince yourself through imagining their interest, you will be much more alert to what it feels like when it actually happens.
3. Watch carefully
Research tells us that men don’t know that they approach women who signal them to come over. Women don’t know they are signaling the men who are approaching them. There is an established body of research that shows that people are not aware of their own nonverbal actions.
To loosen your switch, start being a people watcher. Notice how women flirt with men. Notice how men flirt with women. Watch couples interact at a bar and try to guess if they are on a first date or already in a relationship.
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